Category: Policy

Angela Merkel’s Return to Chancellorship

By Berlin, Germany correspondent D. Wolfgang Spitz-Bubel reporting from Frankfurt/Main

Germany’s Christian Democrats have attained the largest number of seats in the recent federal election by a significant margin. Friedrich Merz’s cunning election strategy was to re-engage with traditional CDU supporters during the election campaign, out-paced the right-wing extremist AfD that steadfastly and deceptively continues to campaign as libertarian, conservative.

Merz’s prospects to be formally elected as Chancellor have been diminished by his inability to implement what he really wanted; despite his purchase of the still sitting, but outgoing government, to change the constitution, allowing unlimited budget deficits. However, despite his extreme political flexibility, Merz has been unable to form a majority coalition and the Party has called for a more effective candidate in the post-Easter election.

Merkel remains tight-lipped.

Reading from Canada’s recent democratic moves to install Mark Carney as their Prime Minister, replacing the beloved but tired Justin Trudeau, insiders hear that powerful party operators are discussing a recall Germany’s most successfully and forward-looking Chancellors, Angela Merkel into the position.

As political party leader, Merz has been unable to engender total support as the leader, failing to curtail increased dissidence within the CDU throughout Germany. Resignations from the Party, especially in the former East Germany; and CDU members in State and regional parliaments breaking the political firewall to e.g. support the AfD in the shamelessly nationalistic requirement for government buildings to hoist a German flag on their flagstaff are the consequence of his weak leadership.

Such would never occur under the firm, trusted and proven leadership of Angela Merkel. She is undoubtedly the best person to set Germany back in the pursuit of her visions for Germany.

In the difficult times ahead, Germany will need a leader who does not just sit around and wait for the troubles to pass.

Ukraine Takes Over German Nuclear Power Plants

By Correspondents André Visuel-Credable in Potsdam and Vasili Dbrznvkovitz in Regensburg, Germany

Germans are waking up to a surprise this Easter Monday to find Ukrainian flags at the gates and perimeters of Germany’s three remaining, operational nuclear power plants.

It’s unclear if Ukraine’s freshly-trained troops exploited the quiet weekend on the roads to deploy to the plants in Southern and North-West Germany or if “sleeper cells” had been called into action to take charge of the power plants.

While official comments from Germany’s and Ukraine’s are yet to be issued, foreign policy experts who could be reached for comment at the early hour understand that the annexation of territories may be a consequence of German cabinet Minister Robert Habeck’s visit to Ukraine to discuss aid for Ukraine’s post-war reconstruction. Habeck had declared that it was OK for Ukraine’s existing nuclear power plants to continue operations indefinitely, as long as it was safe.

There is speculation that Ukraine’s leader Volodymyr Zelenskyy may have interpreted Habeck’s comments in the context of German Foreign Minister Annalena Baerbock’s previous declaration that “the wishes of the German people are secondary to the territorial integrity of Ukraine”.

Neckarwestheim
Neckarwestheim
Isar
Isar
Emsland
Emsland

Images via Wikipedia.

Germany’s Bundeswehr is unable to deploy within the country’s borders and the Bundespolizei (Federal Police) is yet to receive specific orders. Escalation to military action may be perceived by foreign powers as Germany shifting its allegiances to Russia.

Meanwhile, the State Police in Baden-Württemberg, Bavaria and Lower Saxony have been called out to preserve the peace around the plants. Access roads have been blocked and the perimeters are being patrolled with only power plant personnel and services allowed to pass.

No plant personnel were prepared to be interviewed.

The reactions of other early risers in the areas have ranged from alarm to bemusement. Of the half-dozen or so others at the sites, only one was prepared to comment beyond courtesies.

Dog walker, a refugee from Ukraine, Ludmila C., staying with a family at a farm outside of Lingen, said that she’d spotted the flag at the gatehouse while she was walking her host’s Doberman around the perimeter of the plant. As she approached to those in the gatehouse, wishing them a Happy Easter in Ukrainian, she was suddenly accosted by local Police and bundled into a van, taken hundreds of metres away and ordered to remain at least 100 metres from the perimeter fence. The dog absconded.

Locals are advised that the now bilingual Doberman, named Blümchen, is quite friendly. Ludmila expects Blümchen to return home of its own accord for breakfast, having sniffed all the interesting fence posts.

Merkel’s North Sea “Alcatraz” for Refugees

hochseeinsel_helgoland

Heligoland – 50km from German mainland

By Berlin, Germany correspondent D. Wolfgang Spitz-Bubel reporting from Frankfurt/Main

Frankfurt-based refugee advocates medico international have received a copy of a top secret analysis by German Chancellor Merkel’s government to incarcerate thousands of “problematic” refugees offshore to a detention camp on the isolated Heligoland Islands in the North Sea.

The total land area of Heligoland is just 1 km², the weather is often unfriendly and the surrounding waters of the North Sea; treacherous.

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Спасибо за отпуск

david_mccallum_as_illya_kuryakinBy New York correspondent Illya Nickovitch Kuryakin

US President Obama recently announced the expulsion of 35 Russian diplomats based on the suspicion that the Russian government may have hacked the US Presidential elections.

The Consternation is in receipt of a joint letter, apparently from the 35 diplomats chosen to be expelled, addressed to the President of the United States. Some content has been redacted on the grounds of national security. Here are some excerpts:

Mr President,

We, “The 35“, wish to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for this opportunity to join family and friends in Russia for our Christmas on January the 7th. Our thoughts will be with you in your final days in office as we enjoy the warmth of friendship, Christ’s blessings and proper Vodka.

Ordinarily, we would have to “hold the fort” as Americans would say, while privileged colleagues return home for just a few days. Our boss is a hard man. But thanks to you, The 35, usually working thanklessly in dark, dirty and damp places, get a proper vacation.

…

Regrettably, we will not be able to personally help you to move your belongings and whatever’s been bugging you out of the White House on the 20th. But rest assured that staff have been assigned.

…

It is part of the warmth of friendship to help each other through difficult times. The 35 appreciate your warm gesture of friendship and would be pleased to show you around the premises at Nr 3, should you ever be “in town”.

Just pick up the phone; we’re always listening.

Signed,

The 35

600,000 Migrants “Disappear” in Germany

By Berlin, Germany correspondent D. Wolfgang Spitz-Bubel

German and other European press are starting to report that nearly half the recent migrants registered into Germany have disappeared without a trace. Earlier reports didn’t reveal the extent of the problem. While it’s possible that a few thousand of the more than a million recent migrants could go missing simply due to bureaucratic accidents, the scale of the disappearances suggests that a system has been created to move the migrants on.
Wolfsburg, VW Autowerk, Kraftwerk

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Merkel Puts Refugees into Holiday Rentals

By Berlin, Germany correspondent D. Wolfgang Spitz-Bubel

German Chancelloress Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel – Huffington Post

After inviting all of Syria to come, Germany’s Chancelloress, Angela Merkel has announced an emergency policy for accommodating a possible 2 million Asylum seekers from Syria expected in Germany this year. Syria previously had a population of 22 million.

She has instructed the German Federal Office for Migration and Refugees (Bundesamt für Migration und Flüchtlinge – BAMF) to survey the national pool of holiday apartments and houses (Ferienwohnungen); to immediately reserve any available accommodation. Continue reading →

PM Abbott Announces Team Aussie-COP21 for Paris

By Australian correspondents Erica Quarterbee and Jennie Drimmof.

Greg Hunt

Greg Hunt

Australia’s Prime Minister Tony Abbott MP BEc LLB MA has instructed the Minister for the Environment, Greg Hunt MP BA LLB MA to form the best possible team to represent Australia at the IPCC Olympics later this year, culminating in the COP21 Games in Paris.

A total budget allocation of $412,786.24 means that the Minister has had to cut some corners in terms of team numbers, travel and accommodation arrangements. The budget has to stretch to 2 sets of games, the 4-day UN-FCCC ADP preliminaries in Bonn, Germany in mid-October and then the 14-day finals in Paris, France starting at the end of November. Continue reading →

German Minister Threatens to Drown Kitten if Data Retention Law is not Passed

by Fürth, Germany correspondent Stefan Sichermann (Der Postillon)
Translated by Vasili Dbrznvkovitz

… or the kitten gets itGerman Vice-chancellor Sigmar Gabriel declared at the recent SPD party Congress that the party must support data retention legislation in parliament or he’ll drown the kitten. That after his threats to resign seemed to fall on deaf ears.

This led to widespread consternation amongst delegates as they didn’t know whether to be charmed or outraged. Gabriel reiterated that all who voted against the legislation in parliament would have Simba on their conscience.

The Minister concluded his speech by saying “I have said time and time again that data retention would save lives and I’ll gladly repeat it: Data retention can save lives.”