by Fürth, Germany correspondent Stefan Sichermann (Der Postillon)
Translated by Vasili Dbrznvkovitz
German Vice-chancellor Sigmar Gabriel declared at the recent SPD party Congress that the party must support data retention legislation in parliament or he’ll drown the kitten. That after his threats to resign seemed to fall on deaf ears.
This led to widespread consternation amongst delegates as they didn’t know whether to be charmed or outraged. Gabriel reiterated that all who voted against the legislation in parliament would have Simba on their conscience.
The Minister concluded his speech by saying “I have said time and time again that data retention would save lives and I’ll gladly repeat it: Data retention can save lives.”
Australian Foreign Minister Julie Bishop met with Iran’s Ayatollah Khamenei to conclude negotiations on the repatriation of Iranians refused refugee status. Iran’s right to develop peaceful nuclear power was acknowledged by the Foreign Minister.
The Australian Minister for Education and Training, Christopher Pyne today announced that the forthcoming budget will tie Federal school funding to weapons training in schools, retargeting half a billion dollars from the defence budget every year. The objective is to address the huge market of more than 
Students in years 10 to 12 will be required to take part in weapons training starting with small-calibre rifles, shotguns and hand guns, graduating through sub-machine guns, up to 50 calibre machine guns in the final year. 
Just over 4 years after the nuclear disaster at the Fukushima Daiichi and its cash-strapped owner TEPCO has spun off a marketing division to start selling its low-radiation water from its 300,000 tonne stockpile of ALPS-treated water under the TEPZILLA brand. While TEPCO isn’t permitted to dump the purified water into the rather more radioactive ocean, the treated water meets all the 
Spring brought a few surprises to Manitowoc residents returning across the ice on Lake Michigan last month. The rapid approach of the winter seems to have outrun a few polar bears that’ve been found in the ice by residents digging down to the front doors of their houses through up to 10 feet of snow. 
According to the complaint; homework was only necessary because teachers were unable to achieve the required learning targets during school hours and that homeworks were only covering up the teachers’ incompetence.
