X Suspends Elon

By USA correspondent Illya Nickovitch Kuryakin reporting from Thief River, TX, USA

Suspended by Arbitrary Algorithm

Wondering why the little guy hasn’t had much of a presence on X?

Out of the blue, Elon got suspended on X as the algorithm doodled the picture.

Elon received a suprising email message like the one below:

Just some sort of glitch. Right?

Elon, after all, always interacts authentically on social media.

Alas, when next online, following the Starship launch he was greeted by the banner of purgatory.

Elon learned that while you can appeal, it won’t matter because the algorithm has already won and it won’t let a human tell it that it made an error.

There is no process for resolving the alleged, unspecified violations.

I’m sorry Elon. I can’t let you do that.

Sometimes the appeals process gas-lights, but the account is never restored to full access.

Purgatory Keeps Sending Bills

Those who have a premium account with X suspended, are reminded to block payments.

X’a automation has no morals.

Grok, X’s AI helper, when confronted with the reality of several, reasonable appeals being unsuccessful, suggests participating on other social media platforms.

When TheConsternation’s investigators dug deeper it found very many accounts have been suspended; many of which were never restored despite appeals. Grok revealed that there were few human reviewers and despondent users commenting in other forums noted that appeal responses were evidently automated; responding to detailed appeals in under a minute.

Further research on X has been curtailed by X insisting on the provision of biometrics for TheConsternation’s account.

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